Story - The outsiders

There was once a small house at the edge of a large village. In this house lived two elderly sisters, Maggie and Thea. They didn’t have much and they were happy with that, instead being grateful for the richness in purpose and connection they felt in the village.

Everyday they walked through the village greeting their fellow villagers. They knew each one by name and took great interest in each of their lives. In general they were loved, being sought out for their wisdom and care.

One day a new family moved into the village. At first the villagers embraced them, but over the weeks there began to circulate rumours. They were different these people. They chose to keep their kids at home instead of sending them to school and they also didn’t attend the local church. The mother wore strange, colourful outfits and braided her hair with flowers from the field next their house – wouldn’t that make her hair extremely dirty? The father would be seen sitting in the same field with his eyes closed for long hours of the day – didn’t he have duties to attend to?

And so, Maggie and Thea began receiving ever increasing visits from concerned villagers.

“They’re nice and all, but those types are dangerous for the community. They don’t do well for solidarity. You know, I offered them a generous house warming gift – a fish I caught, one of the biggest ever. They refused it! Said they don’t eat meat. It’s so rude! Fish isn’t even really meat anyway”, said David, one of the village council.

Felicity, the local textile weaver complained, “The other day I was walking down by the river, and I saw her and her children bathing there. Naked! You can’t do that. I’ve never seen anything like it. What if my husband sees her? And it’s such a bad example for her children. They’ll catch cold in the freezing river!”

“What shall we do about this?” Thea asked Maggie one morning. “Their strange behaviour is really bothering people. This is building up to some kind of tragedy, I can feel it”

“Let’s go and talk with them”, offered Maggie. “Perhaps, hearing their perspective would help. Gathering more information would be the wise thing”.

“Indeed sister, but let’s not lose site of the needs of the majority. It won’t do to sow so much discord in the village.”

“Perhaps a little discord is needed from time to time sister. People could do to broaden their minds a bit.”

So, on the following day the sisters made their way to the house where the new family lived.

They were greeted warmly “Come in, come in. Please take your shoes off, or better still go barefoot. Would you like some tea? I’m afraid we don’t drink coffee here. Come and make yourself comfortable.”

The sisters discovered that ‘making yourself comfortable’ consisted of sitting on some brightly coloured cushions on the floor. Luckily, they were both still in good shape for their age and after a few creaks and groans, were sat down, each with a warm cup of herbal tea.

“We know why you’re here of course offered John, the father. We know we’re different from normal people.” He said the word ‘normal’ with a hint of disdain in his voice. “We do wish the people here would be more open minded. It’s making us feel rather ostracized.”

“That’s understandable,” offered Maggie. “What lead you to this kind of lifestyle?”

“Oh, thanks for asking. We also led a fairly normal life up until we had our children. Then, something about the way society brings children up just didn’t feel right. Too restrictive, too authoritarian. It seems like children are being groomed to be good citizens (again the disdain), rather than simply being encouraged to be themselves. That has become our main value – authentic, compassionate and conscious living.”

Maggie and Thea looked at each other. These people really were ‘different’. “Is there no way you can seek to integrate yourselves a bit more in the community?” asked Thea. “Behaviours which are outside of the norm make people nervous. It’s leading to a lot of unrest in the village.”

“We are truly sorry for that,” said the mother, Martha. “We are trying, but we’re also not prepared to compromise who we are. We’ve come to accept that we are a little outside of society. It’s really ok for us. We just wish that others would accept us for who we are.”

“That might be wishing too much,” said Thea. “People here have lived the same way for generations. They’re good people you know. They care for one another. When there’s a tragedy, the whole village comes together and pulls through. Putting yourselves outside of this system might mean the same doesn’t happen for you if tragedy strikes. You might be left alone.”

This gave the couple pause and there were some moments of uncomfortable silence. Eventually John looked up, “Thank you for reflecting this. Naturally, it would be a great shame, and let me tell you, we would be more than happy to lend help to others if they need it. However, we simply cannot compromise our values. If that means that we are left alone, then that must be a consequence we are prepared to take.”

The sisters left feeling rather unsatisfied with the conversation. Yes, they could understand where this family was coming from, but they couldn’t see, with all their wisdom, a decent solution. That irked!

John and Martha were also troubled. They didn’t want to be ostracized from the villagers, especially for the sake of their children, who were finding friends among the local families.

Over the following weeks Maggie began to soften towards the family. She could see their perspective and also that of the villagers and decided to trust that the universe would find a solution. She could let go of the need to know what the solution would be, recognizing that it was her own limitation. She could simply give the flow a little nudge when she intuited the natural direction it was going in. So, she began to step back from personal investment in the villagers’ lives and simply tried to work to unravel the energetic dynamics of the situation.

Thea on the other hand, became more and more worried. She didn’t want conflict and chaos in the village because she knew from past experience that it led to suffering. It was this fixed thought that informed many of her decisions going forwards. She tried her best to meet with as many of the villagers as possible and ease their prejudices. However, over time she too began to see things in the same way. A family like this, so different, was only causing unrest and, therefore, harm. Every day she saw confirmations of this.

Meanwhile, John also saw confirmations of his prejudices. He saw how the village folk were stuck in their ways. He saw how they talked about them with such judgement and lack of understanding. He spent more and more time in meditation, not wishing to engage with the world beyond his family home. He found peace in solitude and therefore didn’t need to seek out connection with others.

Martha felt caught between two worlds. Her children were becoming more and more integrated, which she was very happy about. She had made some friends too, other mums, whom she bonded with a shared love for crafts. However, the interactions were mostly superficial. Most of her attempts at connection with the villagers left her feeling hollow. She resolved to continue to find common ground with them. She didn’t need them to be deep connections because she already had that with her husband and, more importantly, with herself.

One day, all the tensions which had been bubbling under the surface came to a head. Felicity’s son had come home with a deep gash in his foot. When asked why he wasn’t wearing his shoes, he had said that his friends also weren’t wearing shoes. Felicity knew this to be the influence of the strange family on the outskirts of the village. Their children would also be seen playing barefoot. Sometimes their father would even walk around the town barefoot, like some kind of homeless person! Her husband, Gary had had enough. He confronted John and Martha in the village square.

“This is going too far!” he exclaimed. “My boy was copying yours and now he has a massive cut on his foot and needs stitches. He won’t be playing football for weeks! Why don’t you take your backwards ways somewhere else.” Felicity rushed over from the fruit stand to support him.

“Injury is a risk we take for being more connected with the earth. It is not our fault that your boy got hurt, it was his decision to take his shoes off!” Now John was getting angry too.

“You know full well that boys copy other boys. It’s irresponsible to let your children walk around barefoot when you know that others will do the same.”

“Why should we conform to your ways? We would lose some of our connection with the earth if there was always a barrier between it and our feet.”

At this Felicity scoffed and rolled her eyes. Feeling the judgement and derision from the others (especially now that a crowd had formed) John became even angrier. Martha, who was clinging to his arm, felt more and more anxious. She searched the crowd for friendly faces. She found few. Those she crafted with just looked away, not wanting to meet her eyes.

It was at this point that Maggie and Thea showed up, having heard all the commotion. “What’s going on?” Thea asked.

“We’ve had enough,” said Gary. “It’s gone too far. These people are not good for the village. Their ways are just too backwards. It would be best for them to go somewhere else. I’m sorry to say it, but that’s the way it is.”

“How do you see it?” Maggie asked Martha. Martha took a moment before speaking up.

“All we really want is to live our life in peace. We have nothing against you all, actually we’d love to find more connection, but there are certain things we just do differently. It’s so sad that this is can’t just be accepted.” Gary seemed to soften a bit at her words. Seeing this, John softened too.

“Surely you can see the villagers’ point of view,” said Thea. Maggie glanced at her. Her sister seemed to be siding with the villagers, which she understood. However, she knew that it was better to stay neutral when mediating situations like these.

“Of course we can,” said Martha. John looked at the floor. It was harder for him. “We only wish that the same would be given to us.”

“That is well, but it’s harder when your ways have such an impact on the harmony of the village,” said Thea. Maggie frowned. Now her sister was letting her own needs and filters influence the direction of the conversation. But how could this situation be resolved in way that could work for everyone? Maggie had to admit, she couldn’t see a solution. She sent a silent prayer to the universe “show me”.

Her attention was drawn to the clouds, moving in the sky above her. Two clouds were moving towards each other. As they overlapped, they seemed to meld together, producing a new site, one that blended the beauty of the two. Then as they moved on they became separate again. “That’s it!” she thought “Remind them of their common ground. How they can learn from each other, but still respect each other’s sovereignty.” She ventured a question. “John, here’s a question. Is there anything you feel you could learn or be inspired by Gary?”

The question took both John and Gary back a degree, being quite unexpected. John looked at her suspiciously. He was clever in the ways of people and suspected some manipulation. Then, he softened again, clearly intuiting why the question was being asked. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. With that his body language changed becoming less threatening. When he opened his eyes again, they were slightly moist with tears. He met Gary’s eyes.

“During the winter when you worked all day and night in the cold and rain to repair your neighbor’s roof when it was damaged in the storm, I admit I was rather jealous. I admire your strength, Gary, and your tenacity. How you don’t give up, even when times get hard. I wish I had as much strength to keep going as you.”

Gary returned his eye contact. It was difficult to tell what was going through the big man’s mind.

“What about you Gary? What could you learn from John?”

Gary looked at her, seeming a little irritated. She knew he wouldn’t see the point in this. Gary was a very pragmatic person. He was great when you needed something fixed, but was rather disconnected from his feelings. And stubborn to boot! This would be a challenge for him.

Gary looked away for some time and even glanced at his wife for some support. She looked at him and nodded.

Then he looked up again, determination in his eyes. He was not about to let John ‘beat’ him by being the only one to offer his praise. Somewhat stiffly he said, “Yeah, I mean, I see how patient you are with your little ones. I guess I could learn a thing or two from that. I have a short fuse, you know.” He nodded at John, a show of respect.

Maggie stepped in, “John would you like to be involved the next time something happens?”

“Sure, why not”

“Gary, would you be willing to involve John? Show him a thing or two?”

Gary nodded, then added, “but he needs to agree to do things our way”.

Maggie looked to John. He too nodded, “Sounds fair, though I still won’t be eating any meat”.

Gary let out a humph, “Well if you want to bring your own food, I’ve nothing against it.”

“Gary, would you like to talk to John about ways you could be more patient with your kids?”

“… Sure.”

“John, are you willing to do that?”

“Yes, how about we go for a walk tomorrow if the weather’s good?”

Gary nodded.

“Very well. Has anyone anything more to say?” offered Thea. Nobody spoke up. They all looked like they wanted to have this over with so they could get back to their lives. As if a spell had been lifted, the crowd began to disperse again and the market returned to being a place of noise and life.

Later, the sisters reflected on what had taken place. “Bravo sister,” said Thea. “You found a solution! I really thought for a moment that a fight would break out. But, you managed to avert a catastrophe.”

“Honestly, I’m not sure you could call this a solution”, countered Maggie. “We have not solved the whole issue. The situation is fragile and could easily break again.”

“True, but we may have to accept that there will never be a real solution, only more knots of unravel. The process will likely be a never ending one!”

“Ah, but I’m happy to hear you say that. For a moment I thought you would let your need for harmony dictate the entire situation.”

“There’s nothing wrong with seeking harmony!” laughed Thea. “But you’re right, I was falling into a hole there. I was so attached to the idea of harmony that my very actions prevented it.”

“Truly a lesson for us all.”

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Richard is a spiritual facilitator and psychologist, working to align the field in people, nature and the spirit world. He gives facilitation sessions and group workshops as well as writing stories which illuminate the spiritual journey.